would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
only if we run a train.
done.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
