My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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