You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize