K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
