i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
