Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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