can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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