May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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