I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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