it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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