omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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