i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
