I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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