I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
