Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
