My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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