i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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