you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
