med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize