I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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