ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
