Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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