Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
