I could have mohawked her pubes.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize