So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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