This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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