that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
