Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
