is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
