She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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