Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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