Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
