Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
