Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
