Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
