$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
