Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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