i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
