I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
