I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
