Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
