i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
