So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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