i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
