He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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