I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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