I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
