The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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