I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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