you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
