I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
