I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize