i don't like sucking hair
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This toilet bowl is my home.
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