I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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