I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Holy shit dude........stairs
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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