I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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