it wasn't lemon gatorade
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
