he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We are all done wearing pants today
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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